Wednesday, June 2, 2010

...and they lived happily ever after

When my mom was married it was a lavish affair and the wedding was the talk of the town for months to come. My Grandpa was quite a prominent person in his locality and though a wealthy man was prudent with his spending - except for the wedding - and he did that because that was the norm and that was what was expected.

A generation down the line my own wedding was a quiet little affair - a simple ceremony in the local temple followed by a reception at a modest hotel. The menu was traditional and the guests got a rosebud or two and the "tamboolam".

Of late the weddings I have attended seem to only get glitzier and more swanky. Professional decorators dazzle the eye. The wedding buffet includes everything from Chinese to Italian to the chef frying up hot dosas of a griddle not to mention an array of desserts and sweets. Guests are assured of a professionally done up goody bag with perfumes for the ladies and perhaps digital diaries or silk ties for the men and age-appropriate toys for the kiddos.

Recently a colleague of mine told me all about the tantrums her daughter has been throwing to ensure she gets the perfect wedding. The money she has spent on her wedding dress would happily keep 2 families fed for a month!

Don't get me wrong - if you have the money and the energy - by all means it is your wedding so go ahead and celebrate how you deem fit. But what I see is that there is so much of emphasis on the clothes, make-up, catering and arrangements the real ceremony seems to be of the least importance when ironically that is what the wedding is supposed to be about!


  1. im so with you on this one. if i had to list the reasons for not wanting to marry someone that my family finds then the ostentation that surrounds the wedding ceremony (in my community atleast) will be in the top slot. when it's my turn to be the bride, i'd prefer something simpler, maybe even a civil ceremony.

    but having said that, i really enjoy attending Indian weddings and learning more about the rituals and traditions that define it.

  2. Know where you are coming from. A cousin of mine had a wedding ceremony in which they combined meaningful rituals from a few different religions and a few traditions around the world with a MC to explain what was going on - that was real fun!