Cuts and Bruises

I was neatly slicing the mango and thinking gleefully - no wonder I never got it right before coz the knife wasn't sharp enough - and at that very instant get a nasty nick on my finger. Luckily I had held the mango away from the bowl so the blood didn't drip onto my beautifully cut pieces. What can I say - thank God for small mercies?

In India, the husband bought a new "designer" bed for the newly constructed house. Designer as in designed to make your life a living hell if you decide to move the bed, make the bed or attempt to get the bedsheet straight. Now I happen to prefer my bed to be nice and smooth with bedsheet nicely and satisfactorily tucked in neatly in the corners - army precision et al (remnants from Boarding School discipline I guess). With this bed - no Siree - after a nights sleep it looks like a herd of elephants have rolled about in it. Anyway I manfully tug and pull, smoothen and straighten, and in the course of getting one corner to hold so I can do the other - BANGGGG - goes my leg on the designer edge (cutting edge - if I may add). All I have to show for my work is one badly bruised leg with a long cut and one bed that looks like it has just been visited by a mini tornado.

And did I tell you about my Laurel and Hardy routine? I have two towels in the kitchen - one for wiping hands and the other for the pots and pans. They hang demurely on my oven door and surprise, surprise sometimes manage to get color co-ordinated by some karmic coincidence of the weekly wash. Now one fine day, I was busy with grinding idli batter which involved constant use of said towels. Yep, you guessed it no sooner did I hang one towel when the other fell off - rinse and repeat...

Eerie Muffs and Scary Safety Videos

Why do all the people in Bangalore (I refuse to call it Bengaluru) seem to have developed a fetish for ear-muffs. Poorly designed, bad quality, army print ear muffs. From my mom's Gardner, to the maamis on their morning walks (sarees, hideous maroon cardigans, nikes or reeboks (no doubt handed down from the "foreign residing" daughter) and the omniscient ear-muffs); to the little boys down the lane. On the little boys, the muffs seem to be over-sized and they end up hanging lop-sided!

Okay, even given that to us from the land of minus, we didn't find Bangalore particularly cold - we still found the muffs hilarious. Of course our souvenir shopping didn't include these objects, though I was tempted to get a set as a memoir to the holiday.

Another thing that had us in hysterics was the Safety Video on the plane. The animation on the demo was priceless. The guy's expression was too ridiculous to behold - and I guess the general holiday spirits added to the silly state we were in.



(Poor kid will die from fright not asphyxiation!)

Are you a "Snob"?

A consultant (of a different ethnic origin) - let's call him GJ - joined our team today. (These consultants are rotated around projects in our organization.)

The Manager goes around introducing him to the team and in the process walks up to my desk.

Manager: GJ, meet Anu. Her area of responsibility is blah blah blah.

GJ: Yes, yes I know Anu, I had worked with her when she was a snob.

Manager: Snob??!!!

Me: (Thinking hard - what aspect of my behavior would be perceived as "snobbish"????)

GJ: You know when she joined - she came from XYZ company - I was the one who explained all about ABC project - she was a total snob see.

After a prolonged garbled explanation it turns out that GJ thought the word "snob" meant someone who's had industry experience but has joined a new team or company.

Don't ask - I don't know how he came up with that one!

Kolaveri - My 2 Cents

What can I say - "Why this Thalaevazhi (headache) di?"

But I am not going to talk more about it. It's garnered more than enough publicity right?

This brings to mind "Cotton Eye Joe". The very first time we heard the song we thought it had something to do with "Katmandu". Now that was a catchy song...



And of course not to forget this:



What's your 2 cents?

Tell it to the Trees

OR

why not tell it to the crows - more "Indian" don't you think?

Okay for you guys wondering what I am talking about its- Anita Rau Badami's "Tell it to the Trees" - new novel.

Reference to the crows comes from another book "Crow Lake" by Mary Lawson.

Crow Lake is about a young girl, living in an isolated rural community trying to come to terms with her parent's sudden death in a car crash. Closely woven in this tale is that of an violently abusive father. The countryside is beautiful, lonely and cold...

Tell it to the Trees - no surprises here - is about a young girl whose mother is killed in a car accident. Closely woven in this tale is that of an violently abusive father. The countryside is beautiful, lonely and cold...

There is a depth of emotion, a delicate balance of sibling dynamics and a magnificent use of winter weather in "Crow Lake". Above all the novel ends awash in a resurgence of hope and successfully ties up loose ends in a subtle yet satisfying manner.

Unfortunately "Tell it to the Trees" has none of that intelligent plotting or story telling. The sickening element makes further mockery of the book. The only good thing I can say about it is that yep Badami knows how to construct good sentences - but that is about it.

My Dad could have been CEO but he's a Janitor Now

BECAUSE...

He just HAD to see me perform "Twinkle Twinkle" or shoot the incredulously, amazing, terrific, unbelievable goal that won the match for our Little-Guys-Playing-In-The-Neighborhood-Park game just 1 second before the closing bell.

And to get there:

1) Dad gave up the opportunity of a lifetime
2) He ran 20,000 miles in under 6 seconds, swam in shark-infested waters, broke a Dinosaur's neck, was given 10,000 traffic citations and so on
3) He and Mommy almost broke up - but just cause he made it to the concert/game Mommy forgave him and gave up our handsome super rich neighbor next door (stupid woman)
4) Theoretically we are all supposed to live happily ever after - can you imagine doing that on a Janitor's paycheck?


I really wish Hollywood would STOP making movies with this theme. I was just thinking if this were in real-life it would be so much better for the whole family if Dad did grab that opportunity. He would be a happier man and in turn his family would benefit. As for Junior he'd forget all about that silly unimportant concert/game.

Here's the trailer from one such movie...

Down the path to DD nostalgia...

Remember the original Liril Girl?



This is what is looks like now...




Remember the Zing Thing?



...And who hasn't mocked 'I am a Complan Boy/Girl"



Good old Bajaj...



...and who can forget lil ol "keech keech"???



(DD - Doordarshan - state owned TV - the only available channel in India - those many years back)